A List of Reasons
by He who is AWESOME
Summary: Oneshot. Lelouch's dirty thoughts on the two female characters. Not to be taken seriously in the least. Just to get me back into the groove of writing, because I've barely written anything all summer and my classes start in two days. Rated for language of a sexual nature.


**ALL HAIL BRITANNIA****! I'm just kidding; I hate those hateful, racist, elitist pricks. I am He who is AWESOME, and this is an idea that came to me when my family was on a road trip to Philadelphia about three weeks ago. After about two or three years of my friend Kevin telling me to check it out, I finally watched **_**Code **__**Geass**_** online, and I loved it. To be completely honest, this one-shot is just to get me back into the groove of writing, because I've barely written anything all summer, and my classes start in two days. So, yeah.**

**Oh! Three more things: first, don't expect ****any**** more**_** Code **__**Geass**_** stories from me; this is the best one I can come up with. Second, this is not meant to be taken seriously at all; this is purely for the comedic (and possibly pornographic) value. Finally, this takes place somewhere within the first six episodes of **_**Code Geass R2**_**; like, after Lelouch regains his memories but before he finds out that Nunnally is the new Viceroy of Area 11.**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own**_** Code **__**Geass**_** or**_** Code Geass R2**_** or anything **_**Code **__**Geass**_** related.**

**A List of Reasons**

_-Lelouch's thoughts-_

I have had a crazy last couple of days. I went to a casino to gamble even though I'm only in high school, and the next thing I know I'm separated from my little brother and running through the building trying to not get killed by terrorists. One of the terrorists crashes through the ceiling in a Knightmare and lands right in front of me. The cockpit opens up and I see a girl no older than me come out. If it weren't for the fact that the building was under attack by terrorists and that she came out of an armed Knightmare, I woulda said she was pretty damn hot. Then she walked right up to me and kissed me!

That's the second time that CC has kissed me. If I didn't know better I'd say that she liked me. But unfortunately I do know her, and that is extremely unlikely. And now, for some strange reason, that last train of thought has got me thinking about the possibility of Kallen liking me.

It's not like Kallen isn't hot. But if I started dating her, there's the possibility that CC would get jealous and if I started dating CC then… Okay, you know what? I need to make a list of reasons why they are both totally date-able, or at the very least, have-sex-with…able. They have a lot in common, so I'll start with that.

Attractive Traits that CC and Kallen Have in Common

1. CC and Kallen are both extremely attractive. There's no debate on that issue. They are probably among the most attractive women I have met since coming here to Area 11. Granted, Milly has the biggest tits I've ever seen, but in terms of overall hotness Kallen and CC are tied for the top spot.

2. Kallen and CC are both extremely smart. That's a good thing because a smart guy like me doesn't have the patience or humility to deal with stupid people.

3. They are both strong-willed and independent women. I dig that. I don't have the patience to babysit a girl who isn't my sister.

4. They are both pretty hardcore in the "I Kick Ass" department. Either one of them could easily kick my ass, but in all fairness, I'm a strategist, not a fighter. I'm not entirely sure why, but I find the girls that can kick people's asses (in a Knightmare or otherwise) attractive.

Okay, that's about all I can think of that they have in common. Now onto their unique traits.

Kallen's Unique Attractive Traits

5. She seems to have bad luck in that she is oftentimes naked or otherwise immodestly dressed (à la that bunny suit at the casino) at hilariously inopportune times. True, those moments are pretty damn embarrassing for her, but I figure a silver-tongued devil like myself could turn that embarrassment into horniness. And that of course would benefit the both of us.

6. She's an Eleven, which, if the tight-body stereotypes are true even in the slightest, means she has a very tight vagina which means any sex that I have with her will feel great.

All right, that's everything I can think of for Kallen, so now it's on to CC.

CC's Unique Attractive Traits

5. She's immortal and does not age. That means if I (hypothetically) started dating her and later married her, I'd have a girlfriend/wife who would permanently be a smoking hot 16-year-old-or-so, which means my (still hypothetical) girlfriend/wife's body would always be tight, which means the sex will always feel great and I can die in the sack with a smile on my face.

6. She's addicted to pizza. I know I have complained a lot about her using my credit card without my permission to order pizza daily, but I'm a guy, and a hot girl addicted to pizza is just great.

Okay, both girls have the same number of items on their lists, and frankly the way my mind is weighing out the different items… They're still tied. You know what? I have more important Black Knights-related things to worry about. I'll come back to this later.

**x-x-x-x-x**

**Okay, the summary that it says when you click on this said that these are Lelouch's dirty thoughts about the two female characters, but in reality they are my dirty thoughts. I'm just using** **Lelouch as a mouthpiece. Goodbye and down with Britannia.**


End file.
